Jul 30

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“I want to be less stressed and more happy”.

bad mood

Here’s a conversation I had with a client of mine.

She said: “I’m really stressed out. I want to be less stressed and more happy. I’ve tried a bunch of approaches. I want a more lasting and self-sufficient solution. Could you suggest some relaxation techniques?”

I said: “Yes I could. But I won’t.”

Here’s why.

I used to spend a lot of time, and huge amount of effort mastering techniques (and a bunch of other clever tricks) to help me chill out, relax, improve and enjoy life more. The techniques worked fairly well – I had the outward appearance of success and relative happiness – except when they didn’t.

When I felt sad, frustrated, unsatisfied I thought it was due to me being undisciplined about doing the techniques. Or the need for a shiny new technique. My shelves were full of self-help books and it all felt like hard work.

And then I was liberated. I now no longer use those techniques (unless I feel like it, just for fun), and I have a life filled with far more love, fun, peace, happiness and material success. It’s been SUCH a relief.

What changed for me was discovering a new understanding about how we experience the world around us.

It’s not a technique, there’s nothing to do. It’s simply a new way of looking at the world. It reveals we’ve all been labouring under;

a misunderstanding about what our feelings and thoughts mean.

It’s not that I was desperately miserable. I was relatively happy, successful and in a fairly good place before I started learning about this. I just had this nagging sense that there is more to life than I was experiencing. That it didn’t need to be such hard work.

And I was right. It’s transformed everything.

“Ok, sounds miraculous, tell me more. What do I have to do?”

Slow down. Heads up.  In the next post, I’ll share some observations about all of this that I wish I’d made sooner.


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